Nurture it Strongly

Nurture it with care! Sometimes that doesn't mean to be gentle with it.

I am no expert in marriage. I definitely have not earned the right to give any advice regarding it. However, I can only speak from experience.

Before we got married we went to a marriage class. It was amazing. The teacher was funny and the learning seemed to grow everyday.

All of the advices we got were so heartfelt:

"Treat your spouse with respect."

"Be kind to one another..."

only to name a few. It seemed that we were now ready for our new reality.

What they forgot to tell us was that we would argue and have great disagreements. They said decisions are better made with more than one head. They just forgot to tell us how hard it would be sometimes to come to an agreement!

Sometimes we as couples tend to cloud our companionship by holding back our true feelings to make sure the other doesn't feel unhappy or sad.

From my experience, this is a BIG MISTAKE!!!!

If you've read my first blog post, "She's a Gift not a Miracle" then you know how this mistake cost us years of not moving forward, but backward. Years wasted in silent grief while it could have been taken cared of in a matter of minutes.

In my opinion, and I understand that others may disagree with me. You should say what you truly feel in times of discussions. When your spouse asks you what you feel, tell him or her what you truly feel. When get asked what you think, tell him or her what you really think.

The best thing you can do to ensure the happiness in your home is to tell each other the truth. Holding back will eat you from the inside out. It'll put a hole in your family. Just let it out, resolve it, and move forward.

Today, if someone asks me for a marriage advice, this is what I will tell them:

Hurry up and argue!

Get it over with. Honestly, if you haven't argued in your marriage, you're not a married couple, you're roommates!

This doesn't mean to argue and leave it at that.

You should resolve your disagreement(s) after you argue. This helps you find truth in each other. It will help you build trust with each other. 

If you won't do it within your companionship, you will tell your frustration to others. Families or Friends.

Friends and Families are exactly what they are...

Friends and Families.

They DO NOT belong within the circle of your marriage. Keep it that way. I have to remind myself this so many times.

It's hard to come by unbiased family members or friends. But just incase you ever do... keep them!

Seek help from the right people.

The bishop for example is a great spiritual leader. He's not however, a marriage counselor. Don't mix the two.

If you can't move forward after an argument...well.... you got married too fast.

Grow up, put on your big boy or girl's pant and get to work.

It takes two hard working adults to build a home.

Some couple tend to think that spending time apart from each other will help with the situation.

Don't do this. Running away should never be an option. That is unless the situation is unsolvable. A continuous abusive one for example.

Don't forget...

The serpent only got to Eve because she was alone.

This doesn't mean that only women are affected by a separation. You better believe that men are at the same stake as well.

Nothing is impossible. This also applies to disagreements. It can be resolved so long as you have each other's best interest at heart.

Above all, I have come to understand that a perfect marriage doesn't mean that it's without disagreements or arguments nor fights. It means that it's a couple who with all these faults, still found a way to forgive each other and move forward.

To me, nurturing your marriage means to build a strong one.

And no one knows your situation better than the two of you. You can work it out. Don't quit on each other and everything will play out just fine.