Better Trusted Than Loved

Sometimes I wonder why some people find console in the company of their friends and acquaintances but not their loved ones.

I've had close friends ever since primary school who have shared with me their worries and in some instances, their secrets. With some of those shared information, I know for a fact that their families do not know them. Now... I would be lying if I would say that I don't return the favor in similar fashion.

My point is... just as much as the place where we spend the most time tells where our heart truly is, we also confide our deepest feelings in those that we know won't betray us.

A few years back, I was still in college, working the night shift, broke and newly married. Before I left for work at 11pm that night, there were some little word exchange. It was a depressing, distraught, and daunting time. My friends were the only people at the time that I've admitted to of how I think I might be depressed.

I got to work that night and I just felt like I don't care anymore. Life was not worth living in a way. Luckily for me, I have some great friends. Ones that I would say knows me better than myself in certain situations. The only ones I wanted to talk to that early morning were my friends. I picked up the phone and called them.

Fast forward to three years later, I'm so grateful they were able to talk me out of it that night. And may I add, they didn't do it in the persuasion and gentleness way. No, they actually did it in the blunt straight to the point way. Why?.. because they know me enough to realize that I will not listen otherwise.

I think we don't share our secrets with our loved ones because:

1. We do not want to disappoint them, and...
2. Fear of rejection.

This actually brings about a big question as why that is. After all, our loved ones almost always want nothing but the best for us.

I personally think that families and loved ones spent so much time in celebrating what we expect of each others' ideal persona that we forget to communicate across the one and only thing that truly matters...

That we would accept each other and take them at face value. Regardless of the faults, mistakes, and downfalls.

I think the answer to the question as to why we choose to confide within our friends rather than families is...

REACTION

The reaction tells who and what is acceptable! And that alone, is powerful enough to determine who we trust.

I find that a non-judgemental and truly caring attitude is vital in such times.

As a young parent I always have to remind myself that I need to develop this attitude within me as I raise my children in this ever changing world.

Though I agree that trust is earned over time, I also believe that it can be a fast result if we choose to do so.

However, once betrayed, trust will almost always never return.

Take this for example:

I love and trust my brother. But if I found out that he stole money from my wallet, do I still love him?

Yes. But I for sure will never trust him.

This is why I strongly believe that being trusted is far more valuable than being loved. And a family that not only loves but trusts one another will be a hard foundation to destroy.

I've heard individuals referring to their friends as family. And I think I know why...

Relatives is defined by blood while family is build upon trust!

Now I ask you...

Would you rather be loved or trusted?